Bottle Rockets & Sleeping Pills – I Wish

•November 10, 2008 • 1 Comment

[ As written while en route to Atlanta ]

Down here among the people, down here among the scum and saints, down where there is no lower…  Down where the Truth is all around you.  Down here, the true colors of America show through.  Blood red from shaving cuts in the bus station bathroom, blue in the benches I sit on as I write this.  White…  Well…  We don’t get white down here too often.  It’s hard to stay clean when there is so little to wash away the dust of the Road or the tears shed by those who have lost hope.  Tears are about the purest you can get this far down.  When any where and way you look is Up because everything else is Above you, out of reach, out of reach…

Just ride the Busses of America.  Ride a Greyhound and place your bet on what new thing you’ll see or learn today.  Will it be a woman?  A man?  Children?  Money and work are often popular ones.

Sure, there are beautiful people around; The Goddess in a Jack Daniels tank top and an ass that could end wars, the vagabond with blond dreads and camping gear, pierced and inked in personal wards as she smiles and waves to the Amish baby with blue eyes that smile at a world that she has yet to learn to distrust because she’s different.  As with all Yin, there remains a Yang to balance it all out.

The old man with bloodstains on the collar of his second or third hand shirt explains to me how he was ‘Forked’ by another man in a previous station after he refused to give them a cigarette, the wild eyed drifter who smelled strongly, twitched often, and looked about ready to kill someone, though found solace and peace in several Guns & Ammo magazines.  The people preying on those who don’t know how to defend themselves, or those who are unaware they are being preyed on.

Chattanooga – A Bustler (Bus Hustler) hawks three CDs and a CD player for $25, neglecting to mention that the CD player doesn’t come with batteries.  A good hustle when he hits the bus right before it leaves.  No one remembers the batteries before he is gone most times.

There’s plenty of worlds and stories to dip into when you’re in among Real People.  People with REAL problems.

”I wish, I wish, I wish…” An R. Kelly song plays from a car close by.  ‘I wish, I wish, I wish…’

That’s the only words I hear.

I wish, I wish, I wish…”

So do I…

Words flow out of the pen, just another distraction from the lack of sleep I endure, and the emptiness in my wallet and stomach that I ignore.  I’m alive.  We’re alive.

Be happy right?  Sure, be happy for what you got when you got it.  I suppose that’s what sepparates us from most of you.  We’re just happy to be alive, to be off or almost on a bus, to suck that last cigarette in the short time that we have before being put back on the bus, our own private hell we share with the single mothers, disabled soldiers and vets, the sick, the dying, the poor, and any other number of different people forced into contact by small spaces and smaller wallets.  Desperation drives us, or love, or fear, freedom, or the promise of…

A child squeels with glee as she gets to pick which 25 cent candy she’ll get.  I miss being that happy about things.  Do you remember the last time you were that happy about something?  I can’t.  And it makes me sad.  Innocense I guess.  We lost our’s a long time ago didn’t we?  I certainly did.

But I remember now…  How happy I was to get some cheap toy from the 25 cent machine…

I wish, I wish, I wish…”

So do I…

I wish happiness could still be bought for a quarter…



AMERICA! – :Uncensored:

•October 22, 2008 • 1 Comment

There is a story that wants and needs to be told in every city.  One that screams with rage as the Truth is trampled on by the ever present oppressor known as Public Opinion.  The same Public Opinion that Mark Twain spoke of.  Out here in this new field I have found myself in, a subtle twinge of fear and hope mix with the syrup sweetness of Southern Tea and the stale oppression of a capitalistic country’s mindset in the last years of our current figurehead’s reign of paranoid bills and ‘public services’ like the Patriot Act.

In a military town where the police are corrupt and the returned soldiers fear litter on the side of the road, it’s easy to lose track of the real struggle going on.  We are still fighting for survival, forced to be wary of those who live close to us for fear of what tomorrow might hold.  It’s a sad time for the Poor.  There remains a constant chatter on all the networks and campaign rallies of the ‘Middle Class‘ but no talk that I have heard about the LOWER Class, ex-blue collar workers that make up so much of the rarely thought of or remembered Southern Poor.  Hell, ANY of the poor in this country.  The families that scam and leech from welfare, and the families that truly need it.  Forget your thoughts of minorities and race.  Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, and the rest are all involved with no set group in the lead.  We are the Poor.

Everyone deserves a chance to live their lives how they want and should.  EVERYONE.  The high number of homeless and displaced vets grows every month, despite the statistics assurance that things are “Looking Up”.  Health care, let alone GOOD Health care, is hard to get and keep, and many vets have problems finding a good source.  The Education systems are being robbed blind by budget cuts and the ‘No Child Left Behind‘ act.  Lowering the standards each time a child either hasn’t had enough help to understand and pass a course, or refuses to do the work till the little fucker is given some easier stuff to do.  Your spoiled little arrogant bastards are holding the other students back and you call it “Progress“.  Fuck your supposed “Progress”. Cater the children, Kill the Parent; as close to Disney as you can get I suppose.  This IS the third Reich.  Heil Mickey!

You want some ideas or suggestions to help solve these problems?  We’ll get to that in a moment.  CNN recently released a poll taken by American citizens.  75% of those who voted said they were mad and unhappy about the way America is headed and where we have been.  25% said things were “Fine“.  WHAT THE FUCK?!

FINE?  Is it fine that unemployment is at an all time high?  That our nation’s literacy rate continues to drop?  How about the MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of dollars, YOUR DOLLARS, they spend JUST to keep simple marijuana offenders behind bars with Full Health care and other such luxuries that the POOR don’t even get?  Fucking pathetic!

Here’s a way to fix it.  Get off your ass, go research and learn about your so called democracy and fucking take charge of it! WE own this country, even those either horribly rich or stupid 25% that says things are “Fine“.  Not those fat ass windbags in congress and the senate which waste time, money, and HUMAN LIVES in their long and drawn out ‘TALKS‘.

Obama has been blasted and flamed for having a few ideas about ‘Spreading the Wealth‘.  McCain and Palin call it SOCIALISM, but they didn’t have the balls to flat out just say that.  Oh no.  They had to go out and find Mr. “Joe the Plumber” and scapegoat that fucker and quote his OPINION of Obama’s plans.  ONE fucking voice among MILLIONS AND MILLIONS OF PEOPLE.  What does he bring to the campaign other than another distraction from the two people using HIS words to attack and belittle Obama for wanting to “Spread the Wealth“.  I’m looking around this country at the PEOPLE alone that make it up, and honestly?  It could fucking do with a bit of shared wealth.  Do not ask what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.

I’m sick and tired of standing by and watching our hope of success get pissed away into TWO wars we are currently fighting.  Our forces are divided, and have you heard “Divided we fall“?  Or was it “Divided we FAIL“?  These are wars that we don’t even belong in.  We are fighting people who live in caves and make guns with their bare fucking hands, and they have been doing it for YEARS before we even arrived.  John McCain says he will win us these two wars and he’ll bring us home victory with honor, but I won’t trust a leader that won’t lead his troops into battle himself.  He’s not even physically able to do so.  John has served his country and time, but it is time to sit back and teach, not fight wars from behind a desk.  Teach the soldiers what you know, teach them diplomacy, and dirty tricks, give to the young what the war tried to take from you, John.

As for you Miss Palin…  I do not know you, and truth be told, I do not like or respect you.  You used your son fighting in Iraq as a lever to boost your rating in an attack against Biden.  You are one arrogant and sorry bitch to think that even makes a difference.  LOTS of people have sons over there.  Sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, and all the facets of families that make up our military, and you use that as your ACE IN THE HOLEShame on you.  Go back to Alaska.  Your time hasn’t come yet and won’t until you mature and learn to stand up for yourself instead of using the honor your son deserves as a crutch and weapon.

America and those Readers still with me…

I am sorry if I have offended you.

I am sorry if I have ‘gone too far‘ in your eyes, but I will not apologize for calling out the problems we face and the people who RAPE our CIVIL RIGHTS.  I am mad, America, mad as hell and I don’t want you to keep taking these slaps in the face we constantly get from the people who supposedly try and uphold our rights.  I refuse to give up on you America.  We might not always get along, but I want you to have the Rights that EVERY citizen in this Nation deserves.

Everyone gets a say,

everyone gets a choice,


and I will not back down from this bullshit!

America!  Please!

If you cut me I will bleed RED, if you hit me, I will turn BLUE, and when you burn me after I die, I will turn WHITE, no matter the color of my skin, who I chose to fuck, what religion I follow, or where my ancestors came from.

America!  I am calling to you!  Stand with me and come boldly to the aid of your country and kin!


Take my hand as we march through these trying and tough times!  Stand and let your voice be heard!

If it is true in the saying UNITED WE STANDthen STAND and BE UNITED!

Welcome, my countrymen and women.

Welcome to YOUR country.


You simply must BELIEVE!


Note:  Thank you for reading this and letting one voice in America exercise his Right to Free Speech.

EDIT: I was extremely sleep deprived when I wrote this and edited it as best I could when I did it, so please excuse the small spelling errors you may have found.  Some small changes will be made when I have gone over it with another fine tooth comb.  – Cheshire

Bottle Rockets & Sleeping Pills – A blip on the Radar

•September 18, 2008 • 1 Comment

Here I am again, sitting in the cob web filled area of my mind, wandering around amongst all the files and odds and ends that I’ve collected here over the past few years.  I’ve let this blog fall into disuse, and for that I apologize.  Things have been very rough since leaving California.  Even now I am not able to really explain all of it yet.  There’s just too much going on to deal with all at once.  But I’ll cover what I can.

I am now homeless once again.  This isn’t the first time, and it probably won’t be the last.  There’s alot of reasons why I’m homeless, but none of them are your business, nor do I feel like discussing them at this point.  I’ll be heading North again soon.  Back up to Tennessee about thirty minutes or so away from Nashville.  Should prove to be an interesting experience.

But onward to the real topics of this post…

First off in a series of things that are fucking up my day:

O.J. Simpson:  Strike Three!  Yer OUT!

No seriously.  Get the fuck off of the Television I saw you on earlier, and hot step it to the nearest prison.  Do NOT pass Go, do NOT collect 200$!  Straight to fucking Jail!  I’m am sick and tired of hearing about this guy.  He’s not the first famous person to be a dumbass and he certainly won’t be the last.  And YOU!  Stop encouraging him.  Stop feeding into his shit.  Stop buying his books.  And for the love of the Gods and all that is percieved holy, SEND HIS ASS TO PRISON WHERE HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Next Item.

Here’s a small list of the Main Crisises going on in America RIGHT NOW:








Why celebs?  Because they are distracting us from the important shit at hand.  Think about it.  The election day is only 47 days away.  That’s what, a season of Will & Grace or whatever it is you people watch?  Come on!  Get your heads out of your asses and pay some real attention to the people APPLYING FOR THE JOB CALLED PRESIDENT!

I keep hearing this ‘he said, she said’ bullshit from CNN, FOX, and MSNBC between Obama and McCain.  Those two men should spend less time shit slinging and wandering around with celebs and really answer our questions.  Why does it feel like we’re voting on who’s going to be Homecoming King?  It’s time we behaved like the responsibile country of CITIZENS that we claim to be.  We should KNOW better than to let ourselves be distracted by our lust for entertainment.

On a last note, America’s Gold Standard needs to be brought back.  As it is, our money is worth less than the cloth it’s printed on.



@jacklhasa Snoring. He denied it, I supplied it

•June 12, 2008 • Leave a Comment
So not long ago, @jacklhasa of said he did not snore because he’d never seen it or heard it. Well here it is. Straight from his evil partner of the road. 😀 Hope you enjoy it. P.S: Sorry jack. I really am. But I couldn’t pass it up.

Mobile post sent by BinaryCheshire using Utterzreply-count Replies.

Writing in the Forest

•May 26, 2008 • Leave a Comment

From the Journal of Scarab

Location:  3.1 miles in the middle of the woods

Soon it will be dusk, all the worries of an outside world forgotten and gone.  Sure I could be making a ‘productive member of society’ out of myself, or I could be sitting on a rock in the deep woods with a valley below me, attempting to write of its beauty and wondering how long it’ll be before it’s torn away and inhabited.  The world moves on, and soon, so shall I.

California calls…

“Come West!” whisper the voices.  “Come West!” say the words.  “Come West!” the plane tickets say.

So West it shall be.  I never entertained the thought that Jack and I would be seeing the Pacific before we saw our own local and familiar Atlantic.  It’s for the better I suppose, Jack and I need to travel.

And travel we will.  Having only bought one way tickets, we’ll search for Dharma in the same spirit as Jack Kerouac and Dr. Hunter S. Thompson.  So yes, I could be doing my part to ‘save America’, but right now, I’m fairly happy to be in these woods that I call home.  Just keep in mind that as I sit and write this, the forest I see before me will one day be covered with houses.  It’s depressing but true.  No more will the Saw Birds call or the water fall glisten.

Progress to people it seems, means ruining it for someone or something later on.  It doesn’t make sense to me.  Perhaps it’s that I’m an old soul, or I am, at heart and in blood, still just a mountain boy who got out into the world and saw how strange and beautiful it was and is.

Vagabond Scribbles

•May 8, 2008 • Leave a Comment

To get I get down with my tactics, I follow my heart and my head, though I feel as if I may stray, I remain on the path and the trail keeps going. It’s a life of living, traveling, riding the veins of the U.S, a couple modern day gypsies kickin’ it on the road, and calling home where they sleep. It’s a love of live, a lust for the road of a different path, a way that wasn’t paved over as so many roads in this world have been. This road is a train track forgotten in the woods, with only the memories of the trains passing over it to keep it company, an echoing of the steel on the tracks ringing through the forests of thought. It’s a desert blooming, followed by a rain forest hazing, the slashing and burning with the smoke of dooming.

“YES!” Scream the peasants when offered the sugar covered illusion of freedom. “NAY!” call the politicians from the highest tower, looking down on us from another world, a world that I shall never call home. There in that Emerald city, resting high on the Capitol Hill.

The Witches be damned! Toto died of parvo, and Dorthy later was verified to be schizophrenic. The land of Oz these days could be Cabrini Green and if Clive Barker was correct, the man behind the curtain could have a hook for a hand. The building is gone but the memories live on. What’s to say that whatever was there doesn’t still exist, just waiting for an entrance back to play with us some more.

What dreams do you have? Are you flying? Soaring high over mountain vistas and deep valleys, do you realize the potential of Dreaming? True dreaming. Some would call it Lucid Dreaming, but none the less, if you have the power to affect your own dreams, you can do anything within the bounds of your mind.

Reality is Perception, Perceptions can be Changed. Open your eyes, do what you want.

When I look at the world, I see a globe with major problems. We sit upon a spinning rock, bound to get hit by an astral body at some point in our existence. Perhaps not OUR life time, or our children’s, or even theirs. No no, I speak of the Future. Yes, I’m sure there’ll be a thing to warn us of what is going on, but there WILL come a time when we must leave this rock. The survival of the human race depends upon our willingness to divide and conquer.

Set your eyes on the stars and aim for the farthest object away.  You’re bound to hit something closer, but at least it’s farther away than just ‘giving up’.

Bottle Rockets & Sleeping Pills – The Real Bio Fuel

•May 8, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Here comes a bit of the muse, wandering back down that beaten path, whistling incoherently.

With gas prices rising, though not nearly as much as other countries, one would wonder why gas prices would still rise despite the so called addition of bio-fuel into the gasoline. If they are adding more of something, gas is being taken out. Therefore the price should, logically, go down. Where does that money go? Did they add anything at all?

America runs on Oil. But it also runs on human Blood. Apparently blood really is thicker than oil and not only that, is a better fuel source, being more of a renewable interest than the sludge of dinosaur bones. Sitting in the Plasma Center, I watched the people giving plasma. The true bottom of the poverty line on up to a single random person who looked like he genuinely wanted to help someone. Crackheads sitting uncomfortably in the cracked plastic seating so often found in over crowded DMV offices, with the DMV clerk being the biggest bastard this side of the prime meridian. Scratching themselves and keeping their heads low. The young couple, just learning that life is a bitch as the young mother hands the baby to the unexperienced boyfriend or husband and heads to the back to whore herself in a different fashion.

The place smelled of fear and loathing mixed with the thick odor of disinfectant. There was a sign by the front desk announcing that if you needed extra income for rent money, etc, that the first donation payed 40$. The second visit paid 50$. You were allowed to visit twice a week. That’s $360 dollars a month for a bit of body juice. Anyone whose gone will note that after the plasma is taken out with the blood, the blood is later put back in. Anyone who is a shrewd businessman could see the advantage of just asking if they wouldn’t mind just giving you the blood bag and heading over to the blood bank to see if they’d accept it seeing as needles in the arm more than twice or so a week is just too often.

Perhaps I am too jovial about the whole business…

Let us try another approach, shall we?

What can I tell you about your government that I haven’t already said, or you don’t already know. I can only offer you the support should you need it if you take the offer to stand and change the situation if you don’t like it. I am standing and clapping for those who believe in the Truth still. For those who DO help this coontry, though it still slides. There just seems to be too much stacked in their favor. It IS a sad thing indeed. But what can you do but get mad?  What can you do that will keep you from getting in trouble for standing up for what you believe in?

Fucked if I know people.  If I knew those answers, think I’d be writing this online?  Hell no, I’d have a full publication going in full swing, being able to pay for the dentist and doctor visits I so need to put into my financially retarded situation.

There is a bit of hope over that bleak horizon though.  That hope lies in spreading the word, banding together, getting the facts straight, and shooting the government in the knee and asking kindly for a bit of fucking personal space and respect.

It’s late/early, and I’m heading to bed…  At least in Dreams I can do what I wish without negative consequence.  If only dreams…