Bottle Rockets & Sleeping Pills – I Wish

[ As written while en route to Atlanta ]

Down here among the people, down here among the scum and saints, down where there is no lower…  Down where the Truth is all around you.  Down here, the true colors of America show through.  Blood red from shaving cuts in the bus station bathroom, blue in the benches I sit on as I write this.  White…  Well…  We don’t get white down here too often.  It’s hard to stay clean when there is so little to wash away the dust of the Road or the tears shed by those who have lost hope.  Tears are about the purest you can get this far down.  When any where and way you look is Up because everything else is Above you, out of reach, out of reach…

Just ride the Busses of America.  Ride a Greyhound and place your bet on what new thing you’ll see or learn today.  Will it be a woman?  A man?  Children?  Money and work are often popular ones.

Sure, there are beautiful people around; The Goddess in a Jack Daniels tank top and an ass that could end wars, the vagabond with blond dreads and camping gear, pierced and inked in personal wards as she smiles and waves to the Amish baby with blue eyes that smile at a world that she has yet to learn to distrust because she’s different.  As with all Yin, there remains a Yang to balance it all out.

The old man with bloodstains on the collar of his second or third hand shirt explains to me how he was ‘Forked’ by another man in a previous station after he refused to give them a cigarette, the wild eyed drifter who smelled strongly, twitched often, and looked about ready to kill someone, though found solace and peace in several Guns & Ammo magazines.  The people preying on those who don’t know how to defend themselves, or those who are unaware they are being preyed on.

Chattanooga – A Bustler (Bus Hustler) hawks three CDs and a CD player for $25, neglecting to mention that the CD player doesn’t come with batteries.  A good hustle when he hits the bus right before it leaves.  No one remembers the batteries before he is gone most times.

There’s plenty of worlds and stories to dip into when you’re in among Real People.  People with REAL problems.

”I wish, I wish, I wish…” An R. Kelly song plays from a car close by.  ‘I wish, I wish, I wish…’

That’s the only words I hear.

I wish, I wish, I wish…”

So do I…

Words flow out of the pen, just another distraction from the lack of sleep I endure, and the emptiness in my wallet and stomach that I ignore.  I’m alive.  We’re alive.

Be happy right?  Sure, be happy for what you got when you got it.  I suppose that’s what sepparates us from most of you.  We’re just happy to be alive, to be off or almost on a bus, to suck that last cigarette in the short time that we have before being put back on the bus, our own private hell we share with the single mothers, disabled soldiers and vets, the sick, the dying, the poor, and any other number of different people forced into contact by small spaces and smaller wallets.  Desperation drives us, or love, or fear, freedom, or the promise of…

A child squeels with glee as she gets to pick which 25 cent candy she’ll get.  I miss being that happy about things.  Do you remember the last time you were that happy about something?  I can’t.  And it makes me sad.  Innocense I guess.  We lost our’s a long time ago didn’t we?  I certainly did.

But I remember now…  How happy I was to get some cheap toy from the 25 cent machine…

I wish, I wish, I wish…”

So do I…

I wish happiness could still be bought for a quarter…



~ by binarycheshire on November 10, 2008.

One Response to “Bottle Rockets & Sleeping Pills – I Wish”

  1. Personally, I think happiness can be bought for less … because I believe that we all have it in us to make the choice every day, every hour, every minute.

    We can choose to focus on what we do not have, what we want, or what we need … or we can focus on the beautiful smile of an innocent child, the sunshine that comes (almost) daily, and the fresh blossom in a nearby field.

    We all have it in us, but some of us have to work harder to bring it out.

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